FRUSTRATED by Ashley

https://youtu.be/Qe6s4qLTk1Q (link to video of one performance on the WWP)

I knew going into this I was gonna have to budget my time, cause you've been occupying more storage I have available in my mind. Unintentionally downloading delusions that have become unrecognizably mine. I guess you could say I'm losing, cruising on a crashing wave of failed yet unattempted motivations of feelings that are deprecating to a heart whose walls are so high they are coveted by a man sworn to make this country "great again". Out on a limb falling for you but it's my fault cause I forced my thoughts to manifest like a tattoo, and the physical embodiment of my emotions would rue the day I met you. And you want to know why I'm so frustrated. 

Cause I can't be loved by a black man. Cause God let my skin marinate a little to long in the melanin and now I'm being separated and segregated by a brotha who thinks he's better than. But we belong under the same brethren. Negro. And you still want to know why I'm so frustrated.

Cause I'm being raped by a broken institution of education and my only by-products are miscarriages of my neglected intellect. Schools only hit me up for sex, as I became their smart black Jackpot and learning became my crack pot for which I could never reach that high sence, cause they had laced my intelligence in the false affirmation of a g.p.a. My mind went to school to be educated but my thoughts always left in a state of deprivation. And you still want to know why I'm so frustrated.

Cause my family is the only thing keeping me here, and losing them would be like taking myself off life support, cause I support a family through government assistance. Forget 19 I've been an adult since I was a kid dual enrolled in childhood and paying rent and in my own way I became my own charity event. Picture this. I took my emotions and evacuated them because they became a hindrance. If suicide was an option for my happiness you'd see it hanging from my tree of success. I don't have dreams even my wishes are reality fed, cause reality is my family needs an engineer more than they need someone who can't pay the rent. And you still want to know why I'm so frustrated.

Cause even in my silence they be listening just to get offended by the construction of my sentences, like my presence isn't something they can deal with. Oh Snap it's a black chick I wonder how loud she gets. And I can't speak up and out against it because then I become the person that they say that I am. And you still want to know why I'm so frustrated. 

Cause it's hard to be me but it's not impossible, which makes it all the more frustrating.